Lifecycle

Where are you in the Lifecycle?

I’m New…

What Do I Need to Know?

Common Challenges

  • I am less than one year out from my most recent suicide attempt or loss.

  • I’ve never spoken up about my experience(s) with suicide, but recently feel I need/want to.

  • I am concerned that disclosing how I have been affected by suicide/suicidal thoughts and behavior will be used against me. I think I’m ready to discuss how I’ve been affected by suicide, but want help thinking through the pros and cons.

  • I do not feel confident in my current mental wellness to cope with any additional stress at this time. How do I know if I’m in a good place mentally to begin this work?

  • I fear that becoming a suicide prevention change agent will lead to further disappointment and loss.

Many people who are recently bereaved by suicide or recently recovering from another suicidal experience in their lives, often find themselves in a place where they feel compelled to help others in some way, to make meaning out of their despair. If you are new to this area of suicide prevention and are someone who has recently lost a loved one or who has lived through your own suicide crisis, we are so glad you are here. When we find ourselves in these major transitions, it’s a good practice to slow things down a bit, and discern: am I ready for this?

Reflecting on the following questions can help you sort out how you might begin your journey into the suicide prevention movement:

How is my current mental wellness?

Grief and trauma can cause major disruption. Take this brief screening tool to assess your current level of mental health: http://helpyourselfhelpothers.org/

Do I have a wellness or safety plan to help me cope?

You can build them. Learn more. Wellness Recovery Action Plans:

http://mentalhealthrecovery.com/wrap-is/ and www.My3App.org

Am I prepared for potential discrimination or prejudice, if I am a publicly disclosed person with lived experience of suicide?

Stigma is real. Once you are “out,” it is hard to reclaim your story. Take a moment to evaluate the risks and opportunities you may face if others know your experiences.

Am I prepared for disappointment?

The urgency for those of us who have experienced suicide or suicide crises can be intense. We want large scale change now! The truth is change can be hard. Setbacks, conflict, failure, and backlash are all part of the change process. When we have “fire in the belly” because we have lived through it, we can take these obstacles personally.

What will others think about my lived experience disclosure?

You may be ready to start carrying the flag for the movement, but are your loved ones?

Your employer? Your school? Treatment providers involved in your story? Sometimes your story can spill over and affect others in ways you may not have intended. Everyone has a unique perspective – your “reality” may not match theirs.

Can I be someone with lived experience and not disclose?

Certainly. The choice to disclose or not is yours. We’d love your help either way.

I’m Frustrated…

But I’m Not Ready to Give Up

Burnout in the work of suicide prevention happens to the best of us. Many of us who stay involved over the long haul do what we do because we are compassionate, giving people. Sometimes, we are not always as good at self-care as we are at taking care of others. Others of us stay involved because we see the fruits of our persistence, and then the winds of change blow in the other direction, and the setbacks are crushing.

We need you, so if you are up to it, here are some steps to take to renew the warrior. (If you are not up to it, that’s okay too. See next step in the Life Cycle: Retiring)

  • Take a break. Step away from the work for a period of time to gain perspective. Unplug as much as you can, and notice what comes up for you.

  • Step up the self-care. Sleep. Exercise. Nutrition. Spiritual practices. Therapy. Peer support. Vacations. Schedule it.

  • Make new connections. Attend a new conference or local coalition meeting. Developing new friendships in the field can provide new sources of support.

  • Invest in professional development. Learn a new skill. Stretch your purpose in a new direction.

I’m Ready…

Common Challenges

  • I feel ready to take on a new challenge to become a suicide prevention change agent, but I’m not sure where to start.

  • I would like to help be a part of the work of suicide prevention, but I don’t know what I can offer.

  • I believe that my story of living through suicide loss or suicide attempts/thoughts can help others, but I’m not sure how best to tell it.

  • I have a story of hope and recovery from suicide loss or suicide attempts/thoughts, but I not sure how best to leverage this story for positive cultural or systems change.

Help Me Get Started

Great! Roll up your sleeves. There is a lot of work to be done. Everyone can play a role. First, let’s do a little self-assessment on your talents, passions, and circle of influence. Where does your gladness meet the world’s sadness? Take out a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. On one side list “What are my talents, skills, assets, and passions?” and on the other side list “What is most upsetting to me about suicide?” By linking up the two lists, you may have a better idea on how you are best suited to serve.

Then ask yourself: “How much capacity do I have?” And “Where is my circle of influence?” Usually, it’s better to start slowly with some trusted supporters. You can try on different roles to see what works best for you.

Once you are ready, you can review these national guidelines to get some ideas on what needs changing:

The Way Forward: http://actionallianceforsuicideprevention.org/sites/actionallianceforsuicideprevention.org/files/The-Way-Forward-Final-2014-07-01.pdf

Responding to Grief, Trauma, and Distress After a Suicide: U.S. National Guidelines: http://actionallianceforsuicideprevention.org/sites/actionallianceforsuicideprevention.org/files/NationalGuidelines.pdf

You can also search for local suicide prevention programs, coalitions or task forces and ask them how you can help.

I’m Retiring…

How Do I Leave A Legacy?

You have completed what you came to do. Maybe it was a short-term goal that gives you great satisfaction. Maybe it was your life’s work. Now it’s time to celebrate and pass the baton. Here are some ways to transition out of the movement.

  1. Develop the next generation of leaders. Instead of being on the front line, coach or mentor emerging advocates. Offer webinars or write blogs on your “lessons learned.”

  2. Write about your journey. Maybe it’s something only you read. Maybe it becomes your memoir.

  3. Conduct a ritual to acknowledge the transition. A candle-lighting reflection and meditation. Toss flowers into the stream with each positive memory. Write a poem.

  4. Have a party. If no one is stepping up to hold one for you, host it yourself. Celebrate the milestones and the people who helped you along the way.

Join the Lived Experience Collective

Join the LEC to advance the leadership, collaboration, and support of people personally impacted by suicide.